“May you choose yourself, always!” ― Malebo Sephodi, writer and researcher.

Have you ever felt like people think highly of you, but your mind tells you they’re missing out on something and that sooner or later, the “real you” will be revealed, and they’ll be disappointed?

These feelings are known as imposter syndrome.

While for some people, imposter syndrome can fuel feelings of motivation to achieve, this usually comes at a cost in the form of constant anxiety. You might over-prepare or work much harder than necessary to “make sure” that nobody finds out you are a fraud even when you are not.

First, I’ll share with you some of the different ways Imposter syndrome can show up and then I’ll give you some tips on how to deal with it!

The Perfectionist

Perfectionists set extremely high expectations for themselves, and even if they meet 99% of their goals, they will feel like failures. Any small mistake will make them question their competence.

The Expert

Experts measure their competence based on “what” and “how much” they know or can do. Believing they will never know enough, they fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable.

The superhero

Because these individuals feel inadequate, they feel compelled to push themselves to work as hard as possible. 

The natural genius

These individuals set excessively raised goals for themselves and then feel crushed when they fail on their first try.

The soloist

Soloists tend to be very individualistic and prefer to work alone. Self-worth often stems from their productivity, so they often reject offers of assistance. They tend to see asking for help as a sign of weakness or incompetence. 

How to deal with imposter syndrome

– Recognize the thoughts and put them in perspective. Ask yourself, ‘Does that thought help or hinder me?’.

– Stop comparing. Every time you compare yourself with others, you will find some fault with yourself that fuels the feeling of not being good enough or not belonging. Instead, focus on listening to what the other person is saying and be genuinely interested in learning more.

– Don’t focus on doing things perfectly, but rather, do something reasonably well and reward yourself for taking action. 

– Don’t be paralyzed by your fear of being found out. Learn to value constructive criticism. Let your guard down and let others see the real you. 

– Assess your abilities. Write down your accomplishments and what you are good at, and compare that with your self-assessment.

– Look at what you have accomplished in your life and be grateful to yourself.

WEEKLY VOCABULARY

Concern: anxiety; worry.

Boundary: a line that marks the limits of an area; a dividing line.

Criticism: the expression of disapproval of someone or something based on perceived faults or mistakes.

Constructive: serving a useful purpose; tending to build up.

Destructive: causing tremendous and irreparable harm or damage.

PHRASAL VERBS

Keep to yourself: keep something to yourself; do not tell other people about something.

“I’d be grateful if you kept this information to yourself.”

Do away with: to put an end to something or to eliminate something.

“If you want to live in peace, you must do away with the superstitions and judgments.”

IDIOMS

Good head on your shoulders: be intelligent or shrewd; have good sense or judgment.

Down to earth: being open and honest.

Related Articles:

4 tips to boost your productivity  https://www.englishpriority.com/4-tips-to-boost-your-productivity/

Emotional Intelligence at work https://www.englishpriority.com/emotional-intelligence-at-work/

4 skills to Develop Emotional Intelligence https://www.englishpriority.com/4-skills-to-develop-emotional-intelligence/

Want to practice even more?…